The Force

Most days last winter, Andy Inglis and I would chat on Facebook. We mainly talked about winter conditions, What’s ‘in’, where’s the freezing level and all that shit.  Sometimes Andy asked me what I’d been up to that day.  My usual reply was, ‘F8b training’.  That meant I was usually out bouldering or down at the wall pissing about with no idea what I was doing.  Training for what though? I had no focus, just keeping on top of rock fitness whilst the winter sucked my little strength away.  One day I might need to pull hard on rock. 

Myself getting weak on Beinn Eighe. (Photo: John Orr)

Myself  not getting weak at Ruthven.

Andrew Wilby established a sport route called ‘The Force’ at Zed Buttress a few years ago.   He occasionally mentioned that I should go and have look at it.  I paid the crag a visit when only 3 lines existed back in April 2013.  Since then, I have always just been distracted by other things; Keeping fit at other sport crags, fiddling shitty wires into cracks or swing tools into frozen turf.  This spring I went back to repeat some of the routes.  On Saturday 28th March 2015, I was introduced to ‘The Force’ by Andrew.  I managed to do the moves in isolation, but they all felt totally ridiculous.  Most were at my absolute limit.  The crux involved throwing for a tiny 3 finger sharp edge.  Oh and you were pulling like fuck with your left hand on a razor crimp and your feet were on nothing. I left the crag with mixed feelings and 2 bleeding finger tips. Hmm.

Andrew Wilby working 'The Force' back in 2013.

A few months passed, summer was due to arrive, but instead the wet and windy autumn arrived.  Enough moaning about the crap summer.  However, these crap conditions were actually pretty good for sport climbing and bouldering.  So I returned to Zed buttress in August.  This time, I teamed up with the Cunningham squad and Rhys Langlands.  Calum and I messed about on ‘The Force’.  Things felt marginally better than my previous visit, but not by much.  Another kick in the balls was seeing how comfortable Calum looked on the route.  It was evident he would do this next visit. However it was still at my limit.  I ran away to Ruthven that evening and tried Blair’s traverse.  Stupidly I pulled on at the ‘Square Jug’, and went from there to the finish.  My best link ever, but why did I not pull on from the start which is just a few moves to the left?  Useless.

Reading through my diary, it is evident that ‘The Force’ actually came together pretty quickly.  I was making good links on it and it never felt too far away.  However, I was noticing a few issues holding me back.  A: Flexibility, B:  Being too tall for the bunched moves & C: Generally just weak.  Not wanting to go into too much details on the moves as that would be painful reading, there is a very high step for your left foot once you stick the crux.  Now, I noticed Andrew and Calum pissed that move.  Why, well they are shorter with less leg getting in the way plus they are three times as strong but I tried to ignore that.  So I started moaning to everyone that I was too tall for the route.  I’ve always noticed that Mhairi has incredible flexibility.  Having been a gymnast for 10 years, she in my eyes is a wad.  So, she seemed like the ideal flexibility coach for me.  After the initial shock of seeing how much of a punter I am, she managed to compose her laughter and give me a few stretches to help me improve my hip and leg flexibility.  It worked. 

Inspiration...

My trend of improvement was generally positive.  My only really negative red points were when conditions were crap, ie 9^th September with Pete Clarkson when the sun was shining, there was no wind and it was 24 degrees Celsius in Inverness.  Yet, I still blamed myself for being crap and weak.

Folk who read my blog will be aware that I had a trip to the Lakes at the start of September.  If you actually remember what I wrote, I made a significant link the day before I left which weighed on my mind the whole week whilst I fiddled wires in cracks.  I came back and was actually better on the route.  (NB, time away from projects is key…I’ll never learn though)   

The day after Gaz and Sarah’s wedding, Mhairi and I went up to Zed again.  A Nice sunny day with a stiff breeze, but I had to be patient for the shade when I knew conditions would be mint.  I chuckled to myself when the crowds all left at dinner time.    I couldn’t understand why they leave when the friction became perfect.  However, they had they last laugh.  Mhairi went for a red point on ‘Power of Resin’.  Just as she was getting ready, the wind just stopped. Like, it just stopped.  The midges just exploded and a perfect day turned into hell.  I shouted at Mhairi to just get to the top by any means, the alarm bells were sounding.  We were in the red.  I still had my quickdraws in ‘The Force’.  So I went for a cheeky red point.  I might as well…  So with a careless attitude, I set off.  Up to the undercuts, feeling a tad tired, I started shaking out.  Then I moved on, stuck the crux then made the next move or two.  The feeling of frustration for not ploughing on got to me.  So I demanded to come down, rest, then go again.  I arrived on the ground.  The midges became the least of my worries.  I had Mhairi to deal with.  I had shouted at her to hurry up on her red point.  Now I am going to make her wait another half an hour whilst I rest and most likely fall off with red point nerves.  Well, we kissed and made up and yes, I fell off below my high point.

Poor resting conditions.  Warm, humid and midges. (Photo: Mhairi Stewart)

Pete and I arranged a day out.  I had been moaning a lot that ‘The Force’ was destroying me.  Skin, fingers but more mentally.  I was resting all the time and my focus had shifted from trad climbing to this bloody route.  So I decided to see how it would go, then re-evaluate the situation.  To cut a long story short I basically climbed the route, fumbling the first jug after the hard climbing.  Maybe it was our school boy chat and shit jokes that took my mind off it between attempts.  So I left that day feeling like it was ‘back on’.

My next outing was with Dave Macleod.  In a nut shell, I never did it.  My excuses this time were it was too warm and my left arm was still ballocksed from my previous session there with Pete.  I was made to feel better by Dave taking a few red points to climb it.  But to be fair, he had been on his board all week and his ankle is still tender from an operation.  I was interested to see his tactic of climbing up to the third clip, clip it and reverse to the ground.  I can see the logic in this by saving energy.  However, I wasn't really convinced.  I sort of feel as though if one is climbing they should be clipping the clips on the way.  Admittedly I did take a 'step' off the ground and clip the second quick draw and step back.  In my head that is a bit different as for me it is a ‘step’ off the ground where as by the time you get to the 3^rd, you're climbing the route. It’s climbing at the end of the day and I only lost one night’s sleep thinking about it. 

Then high pressure pushed in.  Full on sun and little wind.  Summer had eventually arrived.  For fuck sake! I did chance it and go up really early before work one day but that was a mistake.  I did cash in on the good weather and climbed with Iain in Glen Coe and Glen Nevis over 3 days.  I did struggle to relax as I only had one route in mind.  Splitting a tip on ‘The Handren Effect’ was not a laughing matter.

Iain practising the moves on his bold E8.  

With an alpine trip looming (which is now aborted) my days were numbered. I had only one day left to try it.  Looking at a synoptic chart, the unsettled weather was due to return.  Thank God.  Friday was the day and I had it off!  I met up with Dave again.  There was a small issue of young Rhys breaking the hold you clip the third quickdraw.  This played havoc with my mind.  The third clip issue was talked about.  I managed to solve the problem by boning harder on what was left of the hold.  4 red points later I was resting on the jug after the hard climbing.  I even made some technical errors but pulled through.  Composing myself, I still had the tricky finish to deal with, but that went fine.

As always, the journey has far more interesting stories rather than the destination.  My ascent has absolutely no significance in the world of climbing.  There are some folk out there that would use ‘The Force’ as a decent route to find the crag.  However, for me it is a fairly significant part of my climbing career.  The route is everything I am crap at.  It’s short, hard and bouldery.  Not long with pumpy climbing relying on endurance.  Trying to juggle psyche/FOMO for trad, winter, sport, hill walking and half arsed enthusiasm for bouldering, it means a lot.  A few folk I need acknowledge for holding my rope: Andrew, Pete, Mhairi, Paul, Gaz, Blair and Dave.

Its nice to move freely in the hills rather then hang and rage on a rope...

Anyway, its young Calum Cunningham and Rhys Langland who’s ascents were far more impressive.  They both despatched it quickly at such a young age.  Well, maybe Calum is over the hill at the age of 18 as Rhys is only 14 (A short film can be found by clicking this link).  Zed buttress has definitely been the fashionable place to hang out this year.  This has only been made possible by Andrew Wilby.  He has spent a huge amount of his own time hanging on a rope cleaning and bolting the crag.  Along with the cost of bolts, resin and drill parts…. And that’s just one crag he has developed!

Sociable place. (Photo:Rocpunks)

And its all thanks to this man.  Andrew re working the route so he can complete the new direct finish.

The Lakes, Round Two

The word F*ck echoed around Strathnairn on the evening before I departed for the Lake District.  Sticking the crux and making the next move, I fell off.  At least I planted my flag a bit higher on ’The Force’.  I had kept a week clear in my diary so I could escape Scotland and remember what trad climbing was.  However, this just felt a total inconvenience as my psyche was to climb ‘The Force’.  Oh well, a week of ledge shuffling in The Lakes will give my fingers a rest.

Ledge shuffling, rest, The Lakes…. I should have learnt my lesson from last time.  These routes aren’t given away.  Iain sent me up ‘The Gates of Delerium’ at Ravens crag to kick things off.  Linking the two pitchs, I collapsed at the belay feeling rather taxed for an E4.  Nothing like a good slap in the face to wake me up for a week here.

The Gates of Delerium.  (Photo; Iain Small)

Me on Das Kapital (Photo: Iain Small)

Tony on Second Coming  (Photo: Iain Small)

Iain on Peels of Laughter  (Photo: Tony Stone)

Dove Crag was the number one venue in my list with ‘Vlad the Impailer E7’ being the next thing for me to try.  The description for the route is pretty involved.  It basically gives you all the gear beta.  Combining that that with Iain’s extensive gear knowledge of the crag, I thought it would be easy!  I can’t really remember much about it.  I almost dropped it gaining the niche where you place a rock 1, but managed to compose myself.  Got to the crux and made the moves to the niche, then fell off.  I’m blaming seepage out of the little crack below but to be honest, I was pretty pumped ;-).  Down, pulled my ropes and I jumped back on after a rest.  Got past the crux and got into the funky niche.  Not many holds there but somehow I managed not to fall off and get myself up and out to the easier ground above.  Phew!

Me in red on Vlad.  Some dude with green trousers on the HVS.  looks grim.  I much rather be boxed out ma face than climbing the mossy slabs.  (Photo: Iain Small)

Passing showers forecast, Dove was the obvious choice as it would stay dry.  Next up was ‘Dusk till Dawn E7’.  This required a bit more effort than Vlad.  After some ‘uping’ and ‘downing’ on the bold start, I eventually committed to the technical sequence.  Reaching the crucial kit, I managed to quickly arrange it.  With poor feet, all I had to do was pull hard and make a big move to the jugs above.  However, I was too hesitant.  I hung on, searching for footholds, hoping a little foot ledge would pop out.  No, just shitty little irregularities.  So in typical Murdoch style, I waited till my arms were totally gone, the tried to commit.  Surprise surprise, I fell off.  Down, pulled my ropes, I jumped back on and made the move.  Feeling more confident and fresh, I tried to relax and enjoy the climbing above.  The next minute, I was flying through the air with a block in my hands.  Same as before, down, pulled the ropes and back on.  This time I am near the top.  Misreading the terrain above thinking there would be some better holds on this ledge, I found myself pumping out trying to hold the sloping ledge.  Elbows touching the sky, there was nothing left.  The powerful moves left denied me.  Oh well, working out what to do I carried on to the top.  Rapped the route cleaning the gear out, I felt pretty disheartened.  I really should have been flashing this.  So for the next few hours belaying Iain, I was beating myself up inside.  Time marched on, passing showers, the light begins to fade. Iain raps his route and cleans the gear out.  I glance at my watch when he reaches the ground.  I know it’s time to go.  Any normal person would.  It’s cold, windy, the odd passing shower with little more than an hour of day light left.  Deep down, I knew I couldn't leave.  Knowing I would not get the opportunity to be back this year, I sheepishly asked ‘would you mind if I gave Dusk another burn?’  Waiting for a ‘No’, I got nothing but encouragement from Iain.  A rapid de rack from him and rack up from me, I remind myself, ‘it’s just a pumpy F7c at the end of the day’.  I guess this is where chucking a finally lap of Goat Prow at the end of a day pays off.  Before I knew it, I was at the top of the route re threading my ropes at the anchors.  Boom.

Rappimg off Dusk till Dawn.  Not a slab. (Photo: Iain Small)

A major tick of the week was meeting the local Lakeland wad, Dave Birkett and his wife Mary and new born May.  They were having a casual day out at Reecastle.  I was keen for ‘Penial Servitude E5’.  Having red pointed ‘Hells Wall E6’ earlier in the day, feeling a bit weary from the previous 3 days and Dave and Mary watching, the odds were stacked against me.  Well I got up it onsight/flash (I knew about the rp2) by the skin of my teeth.

Hells Wall.(Photo: Some dude)

I had to leave on the Friday as I had a First Aid refresher at the weekend back home.  A complete pain in the arse but never mind.  Before I left though, I cashed in by doing 'Trilogy E5' and 'RnS Special E5' at Ravens crag in Langdale.  Trilogy certainly warmed me up and focused the mind.  I had heard a few comments about RnS Special.  Folk saying it’s pretty bold and more like E6.  I don’t know, hard to tell really.  I thought it was ok, but at the same time I never wanted to test the ride down the crag.

RnS Special (Photo: Iain Small)

Just in case you wanted to know, the First Aid course was fine.  Saturday was bearable as I needed a rest.  Sunday killed me as the weather was mint.  Moan moan moan grumble grumble grumble.

Thanks to Iain for a great trip.  He also supplied a lot of photo's for this post as my camera battery died at the start of the trip (I had not means of charging it). 

Mixed

Some of you may remember this photo which I posted on Flickr back in April.  Stupidly I thought, here we go.  The start of another dry summer in the Scottish mountains.

Glen Nevis in April.  Too hot me me!

However, this photo from Ian Taylor sum’s up well my summer dress for this year.

Not complaining about the crisp red pointing conditions.  (Ian Taylor)

Since returning from the Lakes, I have had only a couple of days out trad climbing which is pretty poor for a tall, lanky, weak Scottish trad climber.  A combination of work, lack of partners but mostly the poor weather has accounted for such a poor tally of days out.  However, the days I have had were superb.  That’s not to say I haven’t been climbing.  I have spent a lot of the time making best use of the fresh conditions by bouldering or clipping bolts.

Passing showers, and a cold biting wind on an attempt at Wolfman.  The Ivy all over the bottom wasn't helping.  Another time... (Gaz Marshall)  

Colin Morrison cruising up 'Jack the Ripper'

Simon Nadin introduced me to a new crag of his up North somewhere.  Don’t ask me where it is as I genuinely have no idea where it is apart from the fact it’s on the Caithness coast line.  I don’t even think Simon knows properly where it is as he missed the little turn off resulting in a rapid handbreak turn in his Berlingo to head south again.  Or maybe that was to distract me from knowing its exact location… 

Despite Simon not being world champion fitness at the moment, it was still pretty impressive watching him onsight a new route which he basically gave a brief eyeball from an ab rope which was in the wrong place.  After watching his steady casual pace, I thought it would be piss easy.  So a lame attempt at tying my rock shoes, I followed.  Elbows touching the skye, shoe laces getting in the way, the whole rack on my harness towards the top and the rock requiring a delicate touch.  All I can say is, never underestimate a ‘Master’! 

Simon following one of his new E3's

Simon on his new route.  E5 6a?

Anyway, my turn for a new route.  I rapped the line and gave it a better look.  It looked easy with good gear.  Just as we went to rap in, we thought we would let the approaching shower pass.  Well, we waited, waited, and waited.  After about 40min we thought it was going to miss so rapped in.  Just as I joined Simon on the platform below, the heavens opened and it pissed down for 30minutes.  So we stood, backs against the wall trying to stay dry.  We looked out to sea, then occasionally turned to each other commenting how shit this was.  Why do we bother?  It passed, I got on with the job.  All went well till the final head wall which I never even bothered to look at earlier.  A steep compact wall covered in that green shitty lichen you get at Gogarth.  Gear way below, ropes waving in the wind and all that, I managed to uncover some sneaky crimps and undercuts.  The top out was nice and wet.  Flopping onto the flat, I was filled with that deep feeling of relief which one only gets from trad climbing.

Me at the top of my new route.  About E5 6a (Simon Nadin)

For one whole day, a ridge of high pressure was forecast.  After a quick swap around of my days at work, Simon and I arranged to meet up at Super Crag.  It was a bit like going winter climbing, you leave the house and its 8 degrees Celsius or something.  You wonder are you just wasting your time.  I drove for almost two hours with the window wipers on full questioning what the hell I was doing.  It wasn’t until we reached the car park that the blue sky appeared.  Gearing up at the top of the crag we still got hit by a heavy passing shower (We learnt our lesson from the previous week, wait).

Anyway, we did some cool routes; Personal Minglay, Moonman, Roda Mhor and TIFS.  TIFS was quite exciting.  An Ian Taylor E6 6b.  The crux is fairly bold, blind and pretty committing above a reasonable cluster of kit.  I wasn’t jumping up and down with excitement to test it really.  At the end of the run out, you can get some small bits of kit in then tackle the bold wall above.  The climbing isn’t as hard.  So I pushed on and reached a crack.  Hanging on with my left arm, I had been camped out on the hold for quite a while trying to fiddle in a wire with my right.  Just as the wire seated, my left hand hold ripped off the wall.  Thankfully I had a nice wiry metallic handhold with my right as I would have taken a pisser down the crag as well as testing some unconvincing kit.  It’s probably fine ;-).  Anyway, I topped out, Simon and I left as the next weather front arrived….  A nice 8.5 hour weather window. 

Simon following 'Moonman' (Ian Taylor)

However, I have had numerous day clipping bolts and opening and closing accounts with harder (for me) local sport routes.  Most of my sport days have been at Creag Nan Cadhag and Zed buttress at Brin

Creag Nan Cadhag (Ian Taylor)

I guess my highlight would be ticking Andrew Wilby’s ‘Game Over Extension’ F8a+ at Creag Nan Cadhag.  Since then,  I have been back there making an attempt at Nuclear Nightmare.  Each time I try the horrific knee wrenching crux, my knee pleas no.  Its not wanting another arthroscopy.  Well that's my excuse ;-).  So some local pumpy link ups have been added to the crag, all bailing up Nuclear Cop Out.    

Some of my time has been spent playing on ‘The Force’ F8b? at Zed buttress.  For me, this is pretty hard.  It requires you to be strong and powerful, not weak with lots of stamina.  But, the other day I made some significant progress.  I need to rest now for a few days as my joints are screaming, my skin is trashed and my shoes are falling apart. 

Lakeland Spanking

Two days before I left the Highlands to visit the Lake District, I managed to campus 1 – 4 – 7 on the campus board at the Inverness Climbing Wall (very unimpressive in the world of climbing, but for a weak trad climber like me, it’s a personal highlight).  However, did this new raw power help the old school Lakes route?  No, I got spanked!

So, Blair and I packed our bags and went on a week long holiday to the Lake District.  To get us into the holiday vibe, Blair explained the theory of spontaneous road jams occurring on motor ways.  He also mentioned how mathematical modelling is now used in town planning to help make traffic flow more efficient .  We also listened to some shit poems.  However that got replaced pretty quickly by some Paul Oakenfold.

Anyway, arriving mid afternoon we did few routes at Reecastle to unwind.  This was my first proper visit to the Lakes.  We had it all in front of us.  Where do you go?   What do you do?  So many options.  We had high pressure forecast for the whole week which made the choice pretty much endless.  The turmoil in my head in choosing venues was painful.  I guess I relaxed during the middle of the week when I realised I can’t tick the Lakes in a week.  We settled with visiting a new crag each day and do a few classics. 

Blair starting us off with 'Guillotine'

So the first rude surprise was the cost of parking at Langdale.  £6 or something… Thankfully the machine was broken. 

Pavey Ark

 One of the routes we did was 'Fallen Angel' E4.  A route that 1-4-7 training had absolutely no use for.  I suspect this is more pleasant than climbing Unicorn in winter.   

Blair on 'Fallen Angel'

Next up was 'Sixpence' E6.  Well this was pretty cool. I was feeling pretty hesitant starting up the flake of Eclipse. I was shocked by how bold/committing the E4 start was.  But once committed, it was actually fine.  From the belay below, I ignored the wall below the groove and just assumed there would be crimps and gear all over it.  Not quite.  Very technical climbing with fiddly kit.  At least I could keep reversing the traverse to a rest.  The guide mentions a jug at the horizontal break.  So finally I committed up the wall and found myself ‘laying one on’ for the break.  I assumed my fingers would curl into a jug.  No they just hit a flat licheness ledge.  My body arced but I stayed on, and found a sort of jug…  Kit arranged I went up and down the groove trying to unlock the tricky sequence.  What naturally felt correct was wrong.  I fell, I failed.  Back on, changed my hand sequence which felt wrong but it worked.  I have made note for next time….and to pack a brush ;-).  The rest of the groove was not a path, but I got up it fine.

Recovering at the break on 'Sixpence'

Blair following 'Sixpence'

I was also educated about the American Civil War, Cold War and The Great War.  If you ask me a question on any of these wars, I won’t know the answer.  Apart from one fact I learned.  Blair explained why prostitutes are called hookers.  For some reason I still remember that.

Mirage E5 on Goat Crag in Borrowdale.  I still feel my fingers creak from that route.  I unfortunately messed up the crux low down and fell off.  Lowered down, ropes pulled, did it next go.  The rest of pitch one was pretty engaging.  I assumed it would be easy.  No.  Spaced small gear along with thin technical climbing.  I approached the belay.  A tip off from Iain and Tony was to link this into the next ‘6a’ pitch.  So on I went.  What a pitch!  A full 60m of pretty technical climbing with a pumpy finish.  I’m sure linking the two pitches together, one could award themselves a harder grade.  But since it’s the Lakes, we will keep it as E5 .

Dove Crag was high on the list as a ‘must visit’.  I felt slightly intimidated standing beneath this imposing buttress of rock.  We found ourselves warming up on the ‘bold and strenuous’ E4 called 'Explosion'.  I can confirm is was bold and strenuous. 

Nice weather.  Dove Crag in the distance.

Bucket City E6.  Yes, there are buckets everywhere except the crux.  I was spat off this one.  Again, mid crux I was hesitant on where to go. Up to the flake? Or continue up the crack?  I hung around faffing then fell. I had a look to see then lowered off. Ropes pulled and despatched next go.  Despite the climbing after the crux being pretty steady and positive, I still found it quite intimidating.  You look up and can’t see any holds.  But then these wonderful in cuts just appear.

Relived to have passed the crux.  

Dove was that good, we were back up the next day.  Tony had recommended not to warm up on ‘Fast and Furious’ with ‘The Fissure Finish’ E5.  Whatever I thought.  Blair had done ‘Fast and Furious’ the previous day so it will be easy then just move right I thought.  So up I went.  At the junction I shaked out.  Glancing up at the groove there was no thread in sight.  Then my eyes caught an obvious little slot where a nice thread would be… Ballocks!  No thread.  Oh well, I’ll give it a shot and run it out or something.  So off I went, peg clipped then up to the slot.  ‘Fuck!’  My elbows were touching the skye.  Somehow I managed to hang on the shit holds, get a rock 7 off my harness, thread that, get a quick draw, clip it onto the wire, clip my rope in, hung on, hung on, then sagged onto the rope. Pumped, screaming in a rage about dirty rock and no threads, I got what I deserve.  My ass kicked.  (Note to self:  Next time, rap down, put a thread in place and give it a quick brush).  'Fear and Fascination' E5/6 went fine.  About time I got up something.

Blair on 'Fast and Furious'  A more appropriate grade would be E5/VII 7.  The top chimney was pretty filthy.

Fear and Fascination 

Kilnsey.  My first visit.  I wish I could pack this crag in my suitecase and take it home with me.  I was seriously impressed by it.  I’m not sure the conditions were primo for our visit.  It had just stopped raining on arrival with the air remaining fairly warm and humid for the rest of the day.  However, it was superb.  Again, my agenda was to ‘tick the crag’ (you know what I mean, do all the routes I can do) but that never quite happened.  'Dominatrix' F7c was the highlight whilst we both provided the locals with a pantomime on ‘Pantomime’ F7b+.  We finished out 9hour day there with me starting up ‘one last route’.  Some 7b on the left hand side.  I was fighting to even get to the first bolt, let alone move past it.  Quoting Dave Douglas ‘I was gone’.  Time to go home.

Blair not sure if Ski Touring was ideal prep for this route.

No slabs

There are many more cool routes to mention but I’ll leave it there.  Our trip was a success mainly due to the fact we had a great place to hang out.  Blair’s friends, Alan and Amanda very kindly offered to let us stay at their house for the week.  I was slightly worried prior to our arrival.  They are both mathematicians.  With Blair being a Dr of snow, I felt my Exercise Physiology background wouldn’t make the make the standard at the dinner table.  However, I was made very welcome and had a great laugh every day.  Thank you!

The Lake District is a wonderful venue.  I can’t wait for my next visit.  I’m keen for some long weekends down there, especially if this crap weather continues here in Scotland.  So get in touch if you are keen.  I’m aware we never even scratched the surface of what’s on offer.  However, this trip was a great introduction and now I have a proper ticklist. 

Yesterday I went for a scramble up Stac Pollaidh with Mhairi.  Skipping along the ridge soaking up the view of Assynt did remind why I live up in the Highlands.

Mhairi on Stac Polliadh

Although the midges are hanging about and it seems to keep raining.  But this crap weather has allowed me to work my weakness. QED is coming along nicely ;-)

Another rain shower whilst fighting with Ivy at Duntelchaig.  (Photo: Gaz Marshall)

Nerve Damage

E6 6a was what Lawrence Hughes lead me to believe in a casual conversation one day.  Then it became ‘maybe its E7 6b’.  There was some strong encouragement for me to give it an onsight attempt.  In the meantime, I thought I would see what the other sandstone technicians in the area thought.   Ian Taylor warned me ‘to be careful with that one’ and Paul Tattersall reminded me that ‘Lawrence is a demon on that stuff’ and ‘would have had it dialled’.    

Time marched on and I was being distracted by other routes.  However, ‘Lawrences Ardmair route’, which is actually called ‘Nerve Damage’, still remained unticked on my scrappy piece of paper.  I still pondered each day whether to try onsight it or rap it to have a look.    Last October, Iain Small paid a visit to Ardmair.  Obviously he showed interest in the route.  All day at work I was suffering from major FOMO.  Then a text from Iain that evening.  In summary, he tried to onsight it, but got shut down.  That was enough for me.  We all know that Iain Small is an onsight weapon and would have dug deeper than anyone else…  He climbed it the following day after rapping it and a play on a top rope.  Comments of ‘slapping for the finishing holds’, ‘its pretty run out’ and ‘you wouldn’t want to fall from the top’ played havoc in my mind.

The winter came and kind of went, this route was still unticked.  We are in the month of May now.  We shouldn’t be considering bold routes on sandstone that require winter friction.  However, we have been blessed by a persistent winter.  Plenty of cold air and fresh snow even to low levels.  Now most of you would think all I would do is moan about how shit this is.  Well you are wrong.  I’m turning negatives into positives here.  These conditions are perfect for working my weaknesses.  Bouldering and considering this route up at Ardmair.

An Teallach looking wintery

One day, I went up to Ardmair armed with everything.  Brushes, bouldering pads, shunt, wires, more wires etc.  You name it, I had it.  Having walked past the boulder problems on Arapiles wall for over 10 years now, I have never tried any of them.  So it was cool to finally mess around on various traverses and up problems.  I think the highlight was ‘Billabong (Font 6b)’.  At the finishing jug, I thought it would be easy to solo on to the big ledge.   I got a bit committed and gripped thinking it would be jugs all the way.  No, just sandy, gritty, licheness rounded holds.  Not helped by the fact the sun came out from behind a cloud and my chalk bag was on the ground.  Ironically ‘Lawrence’s’ crack (Font 7a)’ which actually finishes on the ledge went much easier… I digress.

Rapping down the wall, I spied out various slopey holds and pebbles.  There was a distinct lack of kit though.  I was aware that at ‘the nose’ there was a good cluster of kit.  But that was miles away.  So I played about for a while trying various sequences.  By the end of the day I was spent.  How does a vertical piece of sandstone do that to you?!  Not helped by the fact, the whole thing looks easy from the ground.  Anyway, I left the crag that day feeling psyched.  Late night shopping on a Thursday meant I could splash out and purchase a new Lapiss brush from the shop minutes before they closed.  That’s how psyched I was!

Nerve Damage follows the line of the rope.

Zoomed in.  Good kit at the nose.

Worn out

That night I arranged with Lawrence to go back on Sunday evening as it was forecast to be cold north easterlies .  Everyone told me it was going to rain.  I found a forecast suggesting it wasn’t.  It pissed with rain all day.  

Uisdean Hawthorn had just arrived back from a very successful alpine trip.  I persuaded him up to Ardmair.  I think the main selling point was, the 10m crack of ‘Unleash the Beast’ is more impressive than the Dru Coulier Direct.  Well the climbing will be harder at least ;-)

'Unleash the Beast'.  Much more impressive than...

...This.  Uisdean on Dru Coulier Direct (Photo Guy Steven)

Whilst holding Uisdeans ropes on ‘Totem Pole Crack’, I was busy glancing round the corner at the cool VS called ‘Moondance’.  It just seems like yesterday that I was resting on gear and taking multiple lops of it. 

Giving Nerve Damage a chalk and brush, I played on the moves.  They felt desperate.  What had changed?  Everything was off balance and I kept falling off.  My mind was in turmoil.  Was this going to be another long term thing that I’ll never do?  With a few subtle changes of body position, the sequence was unlocked.  It suddenly felt easy.  However it is still very intricate and one wrong move, you were off.  That was playing at the back of my mind all day.   We stood back and looked at the crag.  ‘What a line’ I said, Uisdean looked at me and just laughed.  ‘Get a grip’ he said.  Playing devil’s advocate with each other all day and winding each other up, beneath it all I could sense his focus on this bigger mountains was beginning to outweigh technical rock climbs.  That boy will go far so keep an eye on him.  Anyway, more to the point, was I going to die if I fell from the crux?  Hard to tell, but you would be taking a ride down the whole crag with 2 ledges to hit.  Without rope stretch you would go miles.  We all fall further than you think.  So it was best not to think about it.  Iain had sent me a reassuring message in the morning, ‘just switch off and go for it!’ 

After some patient waiting, the shade arrived.  Suddenly the fear hit, what was stopping me?  Tying on I could feel a sudden rise in anxiety.  Uisdean broke the silence and said, ‘you’re not falling off, you’ve pissed up it already’.  Wise words from the mountaineer so off I went.  I arranged the crucial kit at the nose then reversed the moves to the ledge.  Suddenly I had that urge which some of you know.  I managed to erase it from my mind by chatting about the Tories and SNP. 

Placing the kit

Ranting about politics.  

Off I went, heel hook in… the next minute I was on the finishing jugs just below the top of the crag.  Yay! I thought.  But I hadn’t actually practiced the top out.  It’s just a typical Ardmair sloping mess.  My Ardmair apprenticeship bailed me out. 

So what do I think?  It’s tough to grade.  I haven’t done much of this head pointing before.  If it all goes well, it feels easy.  But all it takes is one wrong hand or foot position and you are taking the E7/8 ride resulting in some form of Nerve damage…

So here is the route description.  Click on the name and it will take you to an updated guide to the crag along with some cool photo's

45B Nerve Damage

E7/8 6c*** 25m 2011

Well named - an incredible pitch up the obvious blank seamed headwall between Cruel World and Colour Co-ordinated. Desperate, insecure and intricate climbing above tricky micro-gear would make this a very hard onsight, the upgrade from E7 may be conservative! Climb Cruel World and swing right to the ledge. Tricky moves lead to the nose and gear (strenuous to place), then more hard moves gain a standing position and micro-gear (blind to place). Powerful and technical cruxes above lead left and up to good holds just below the top. Pull over with a lot of relief.

Kalymnos

On arrival to the ‘fancy’ studio/apartment thing, it never quite appeared to be the same as what the photos suggested.  Tap water tasting like salt and an electric hob that was pretty much useless, FFS.  Never mind…

I did next to no research about Kalymnos apart from ask Boost what routes were good to do.  I got a vague answer which never really meant much.  So on day one, where do you start?  Mhairi and I walked along the street of Masouri peering up at the crags.  It was that typical view.  Blue sky, sun, big limestone crags.  Not very Scottish.  The Grande Grotta caught my eye.  Very good I thought.  With one whole week what does one do?  Climb lots of routes onsight, or open an account on a project?  My nature is to climb a lot and not sit around resting.  I love mileage. I love feeling wrecked at the end of each day, but just doing one more route and getting away with it.  I love that broken feeling you feel in the morning but just getting on with it.  So that’s what I opted for.  Mhairi joined in.

Masouri with a few crags

I started this blog just before the winter.  My posts so far have included two trad routes and winter days out.  They all have a story behind them, especially my Beinn Bhan days (for me at least).  However, sport climbing is a bit different.  I spend a lot of time clipping bolts but the routes all have a different meaning.  They don’t have such a big impact on me.  As I sit pondering just now about what too write, I can still visualise fighting the vertical soft snow at the top of ‘God Delusion IX,9’ more so than reaching the chains on ‘Daniboy 8a’.  I have put off writing this post as I seem to have struggled to find things to say.  I could write and entire post on the trip minus the climbing.  In saying that a few routes I will remember from Kalymnos which were cool.

Not the best photo, but you get the point. (Photo: Iain Small)

I guess the first ‘harder route’ I did was ‘Priapos 7c’.  The draws were in so it felt rude not to give it a blast.  It certainly was steep.  As the guide book suggests, lots of good rests with some harder climbing  in between them.  I am useless at all this tufa climbing.  I’m sure there are heaps of complete hands off rests.  I never really found them.  I just hung on shaked out and kept going….

Lowering off Priopas 7c.  Brilliant!

Arriving back at the apartment, it did grow on me a bit.  The shower was roasting and powerful.  That’s something.  However the hob still took about 30min to heat water for tea.  Not so good for someone who is constantly gagging for it…

Daniboy 8a.  I did my typical and avoid the issue of getting on it.  I made sure I got my days worth of climbing done before attempting it. Spartacus 7b+ and the other routes at this sector are pretty good.  The draws were in place on Daniboy so I had an advantage.  Somehow I managed to onsight about 2/3rds on the route then fell off.  I read the move from below knowing I needed my left hand in a pocket to reach up right.  But I was totally fucked so went up with my right instead.  I hung there knowing I couldn’t move up or down.  So I waited till all my energy drained and fell off.  I worked out the rest of the route and realised there was still some tricky climbing higher up.  Oh well, I would have never managed that even if I was correct the first time.  Returning the next day, the clips had gone.  That was a good enough excuse not to bother.  I was straining as it was to get the rope clipped the previous day let alone placing the quick draws.  So I shied away, but Mhairi told me to get on with it.  Clips in I went for a red point and fell just above my highpoint the previous day.  Fumbling a hold was my excuse.  I knew it was in the post though.  Despatched next go.  It was funny when I lowered down as a few folk commented on how boring I was to watch climbing.  No knee bars, no grunts and no celebration.  These Polish boys told me to learn to knee bar as they managed to find hands off rests and all that fancy stuff.  What they were getting at was, I could probably climb harder if I had a clue how to rest.  I just hung on and shaked out.  Maybe someone wants to give me a knee pad thing and I’ll learn?  And no celebration.  Well in my eyes, there was no point.  I have more in me to give. 

Sector Spartacus.

Back that the apartment, the shower was not quite as hot, the hob still took an age…

Mhairi made the plan of climbing 6c every day.  She did along with some 6c+ red points.   It was cool to see her tire throughout the trip, but get on with it and surprise herself and still red point hard towards the end.  The power of the mind.  The classic moment was on ‘Feta 6c’.  Too tired and sore skin was the comment as she tied on.  Despatched with no hassle.  Mhairi has a lot in reserve.  There was chat about climbing some 7a’s this year.  I bet you she has 7c ticked by the Autumn.

Mhairi warming up on 'KalyNikhla' on day one

The hob caved in half way through.  It produced no heat.  If I said I was raging, that would have been an understatement.  So upstairs I went with it in my hands to the owner of the place.  I kept my cool, we got a brand new fancy double hob that worked well fast.  I feel sorry for the poor man.  He probably expects all the guests to eat out and never boil water.  Well he is going to have one hell of an electric bill this month.

Before we went to Kalymnos, everyone was banging on about how cheap it was to eat out.  I think there is cheap, then there is tight and then me.  On the first night we ate out.  It was 24 Euros.  That’s not cheap.  It’s a rip off.  I could have made that salad myself for much less.  Anyway we tried again and the second time it came to 14 Euros.  That’s a bit more bearable….  We decided to cook ourselves.   

Cringing at the thought of spending money

One more rant.  We stopped off for a tea/coffee each morning at this café.  I am not going to name it.  So, on our first visit, I had a brilliant mug of tea.  Mhairi had a brilliant coffee.  We even got a free bit of muffin.  Our next visit, the amount of hot water in my mug was less along with no free muffin/cake.  Mhairi still had a brilliant coffee.  Next time, my mug was half full, at least we got a free but of cake.  I had to ask for more hot water.  Fair enough…  Then the next time, I knew the score.  Get my half mug of tea, (for those of you that know me, it doesn’t even touch the sides.  One mouthful and its gone) and then ask for more hot water.  Well it never arrived…  Our final day I thought I will try a different tack.  A fresh fruit juice. So the options.  Fresh orange at 2 euros or fresh orange, mango and peach at 4 Euros.  Hmm, I’m on holiday, last day and all that, I’ll splash out and have the orange, mango and peach.  What a bloody waste.  One, it lasted 20 seconds and two, it tasted of orange.  Fair do’s it had a fancy 2 mm slice of mango decorating the glass suggesting there was some in there.  Ballocks there was.  So I conclude there, my philosophy on eating out wherever in the world, don’t bother.

But, Kalymnos is a brilliant place to hang out.  The weather was perfect, the climbing was superb and the place just felt so friendly.  Every route we both did was good value.  Each day we walked from Masouri which was fine as there was enough climbing to keep us both occupied.  I can definitely see myself booking another trip there in the future. 

The Grande Grotta

I have been back home for 2 weeks.  The weather has been great.  The past few days I have been trad climbing which.  Despite the sun splitting the sky, I still managed to experience damp, seapy, smeggy, cold rock along with hot aches and a cold bighting wind at Shiegra.  Then some rounded gritty licheness rock on some esoteric routes at Ardmair in the baking heat.  It’s good to be home!

Cool dude....

...but not as cool as my wee girl!